On my tenth birthday my family moved to West Sussex in the South of England. This was due to my dad changing job. The move provided an interesting change of scenery.
The downside was once again I needed to make friends, however there were a number of JW kids my age and the congregation appeared pretty good at the outset. By the time I was eleven I was regularly heading out with Pioneers on the service for full days, making the bible readings from the platform, and generally being a great little Witness. There was still an empty feeling inside however, and I can recall looking out of the car windows on the way home from the Thursday meeting and feeling sad that I would never get to enjoy the fun everyone else seemed to be having.
At the tender age of eleven and a half I put myself forward for baptism. I was making great strides in the congregation doing twenty or more hours per month in the service, and answering many times every meeting – in fact at times my hand would be up for every question, it was a competition to be the best I could be. Luckily this part of my personality returned once I left the religion.
I recall vividly the next meeting after going through the questions with the elders for baptism. I sat in my seat, heart racing, beating so hard I thought it would burst out – would they let me become a fully fledged Witness?
Unfortunately or fortunately as the case may be, I was told that I didn’t associate with the ‘Elderly’ in the congregation enough, and for this reason I couldn’t get baptised and should wait. This broke my heart, but over the next few months I started making a point to talk with the elderly ones – to be honest they were great people, and looking back far more interesting that the average members.
The remainder of my primary schooling was also going well, I had a few friends, a great teacher, and I was allowed to be in some school productions. I was still in trouble frequently and stunted socially but for a time life seemed more relaxed.
Around this time my Father was doing a lot of international travel for work, and I would typically only see him on the weekends. I respect my Father for the hard work he put into the family, and although he didn’t always get it right, he tried as hard as any man could.
It wasn’t clear then, but it is now, that he was fading away from the religion; he wasn’t getting promoted up the ladder, while his sister’s husbands and other family members were. I think there were also some problems in the congregation at this time with one group of elders fighting another group – a pattern I would see repeated again and again.
Dad used to enjoy sci-fi films like Alien and he would let me watch these with him – these were good times, and no matter what any Witness says – that was quality time! I made the unfortunate mistake of telling a seventeen year old pioneer about these films, and not for the first time a Witness told tales on me. Dad was in trouble and some Elders came to council him on not watching films like these. I knew he was angry at me for opening my mouth – and for the next few months these films stopped.
This was the start of my faith being eroded, I dislike having to keep secrets, and it placed me on the outside for the first time. The process was slow however – and I remember telling my Grandmother – a proud and formidable Scot, that when I grew up I wanted to be a Circuit Overseer; she beamed cheek to cheek with pride.