My early years as a JW first and a child second, were, I believe the most important in shaping my future personality. My Father and Mother had been married in 1975 so they had seen the great ‘apostate’ outing and the genuinely tried their hardest to be good parents and good JW’s.
My entire extended family on both my mother’s side and father’s side were all very strong JW’s and they continue to be to this day. I had many cousins around the same age as me and before school started, life was great.
That all changed within my first week of school. My mother dutifully had explained to my teacher that I was a JW and NOT to let me be involved in Christmas, Birthdays, Halloween, and just about every other form of fun for a child. I was also to sit out of school assemblies, which back then featured the signing of a Christian Hymn
I was marked from the start. I didn’t do myself any great favours’ by telling my class mates that they were all going to die in Armageddon. To this day I find it sick that words like these could escape a six year olds mouth
It was very difficult to make close friends as I was viewed as a weirdo by the other children, sensible kids! I absolutely hated school and it hated me right back. My first teacher identified my preaching as arrogance and that label stuck. I can remember being in a lot of fights and generally being miserable. In addition to being a JW, we also moved three times with my fathers’ job, so there was no continuity even amongst the few friends I did have.
My response to this type of life was to try and set myself as the rebel character, maybe kids would like me if I was the one who went further and crossed more boundaries than they did. I recall at around seven years old, throwing some stones through a caravan window with a friend. This was a destructive pattern which would continue into my later life – I did stupid things to impress ‘friends’ – it was my child brain seeking a counterbalance to the loneliness.
Although my memories up to 10 years of age are quite vague, there are a few stand out ones. I can remember being on the platform with my parents at an Assembly, and having to speak about something – the pictures are cute! I recall being ‘belted’ a lot, but was largely due to being in trouble at school.
I was suspended three times from school before the age of 10, once for destroying a kid’s asthma inhaler because he made fun of my religion (I really embarrassed by that – and thank god he was ok). The second suspension was because during a fight where five boys were attacking me, I took a bite out of one of their legs and hospitalised him (served him right – no guilt on this one!). The final primary school suspension was for bringing in a computer transformer plug, the ones with the huge plug, and using it as a mace in a fight.
At home, the memory which burns the most was getting belted so I couldn’t sit down, for making a comment about some ice skaters underwear on the TV. My cousin was there and he was belted too. I believe this memory caused long term damage into my mid twenties with associating women with pain and something to be shy of – but that’s just my pop psychology.
I also recall there being a paedophile in the congregation, of course that word wasn’t used, improper conduct with a boy as I remember. He had no contact with me.
My first ten years were hard, and I was establishing a number of bad patterns in my life, and as with all children who are indoctrinated from birth, certain parts of my character were being irreversibly shaped.
Just after my 10th birthday our family moved to England – and for the next three years things went further downhill – that parts coming next.